If you haven’t already figured it out, lots of kids come to ride here, and with lots of kids comes lots of stories. Kids say (and do!) the darnedest things sometimes.
One particular male rider, for example, is a kid who is brutally 100% no-question-about-it honest. Always. He says what he means and he means what he says, and you don’t have to ask if he’s joking because he’s not. Here’s an example: On a cool day last fall, I walked out to the barn wearing blue jeans, a purple and black striped blouse, and a purple corduroy blazer. I remember the outfit distinctly because when I said hello to our guest, he did not respond with a hello, but responded instead with “You don’t match.” It took me a few beats to figure out what he meant, and I am sure I looked at him with a puzzled expression. He continued “Did you mean to put those colors together?” I looked down at my outfit, and he again remarked “Your colors don’t match.” I thanked him for pointing that out and made a quick mental note to never again wear that combination.
Another frequent visitor makes us laugh every time he is here. This kid is a riot! After his first riding lesson, Cowboy gave him the distinct honor of picking manure from a stall. After a few quick lessons in how to do the job right, the new student willingly took on the task. A few minutes into the job, the boy crinkled up his nose. “Ew (‘sniff’) smells like (‘sniff’) Mom’s meatloaf!” A smiling Cowboy asked: “So you’re mom’s not a very good cook?” Still crinkling his nose, and adding a shake of his head he responded “Nope, not really.”
One prankster, while waiting for his sister to finish a riding lesson, was quickly getting bored. Cowboy gave him permission to jump off the upper level balcony into the wood shavings pile in the arena below. This is always a treat for our kids, so Cowboy thought it would be harmless fun for this little guy. As Cowboy continued the riding lesson, he began to notice a moan following every jump into the shavings pile. He decided to keep an ear tuned to what his little buddy was up to, and as he continued sister’s lesson, he noted footsteps going up the ladder, then a THUD, followed by a deep groan, but every time Cowboy turned around to look, little brother was rolling out of the shavings to climb the ladder again. Finally, Cowboy asked big sister to stop riding for a moment so that he could turn to watch the action unfold behind him. Come to find out, the daredevil was diving HEAD FIRST into the shavings, hitting the pile with a THUD, then groaning, he would lay for a moment to regain composure. Cowboy of course put a stop to this nonsense and made a mental note to find level-ground activities for his buddy’s next visit.
One student seems to always forget to tie the horse up before leaving the arena, and with each and every reminder of “Hey, did you forget your horse?” The student responds, “Uh…yeah…well…I taught her how to stand still while I’m gone.”
Last summer, I took a big bowl full of watermelon out to share with a few of our riders. One jumped off his horse and high-tailed it to the table. It seems he loves watermelon. A lot. While we stood together talking, eating, and spitting seeds, I asked him about his day at school. “I broke up with my girlfriend,” he said. “Oh dear,” I responded. Thinking I might be able to lend an ear for a difficult discussion about relationships, I asked “Why did you break up?” He looked up at me and answered, “She doesn’t brush her teeth.” I choked on watermelon that day.
One day Cowboy pointed to the manure pile out back and asked a student to dump the contents of the wheel barrow. He watched as the student rammed the wheel barrow as close as he could get it to the mountain of manure. He wasn’t tall enough to get leverage to push the cart over, so Cowboy watched as the boy stood thinking for a minute, trying to develop a plan. Finally, he tipped the cart up again, walked around the cart, climbed up ON the manure pile, and pulling the cart toward him, dumped the fresh manure down his jeans and onto his boots before it finally landed in place on the pile. Proudly smiling at his personal achievement, he flipped the cart back to the upright position and headed back to the barn for another load.
Our lesson horse Sassy has an incredible gas problem. Her musical rhythms escalate to monumental proportion when she runs, and if you’ve never been near her when she sneezes…well…be glad. It’s an explosion out of both ends! These particular talents lend her the name “Gassy Sassy.” For some students, it is embarrassing to ride her. For others, it’s absolutely the funniest thing ever. One day, as Sassy was running around the arena, a new student stopped dead in his tracks to watch and listen. With a sudden burst of clarity he exclaimed “HEY! She sounds like my dad!”
While talking to a student before lessons one day, I learned he had a lot of cousins. In an effort to make conversation I asked if any of them went to the same school as he. “Yes,” he admitted, “but there’s one family who just moved in. They have the same last name, but they aren’t relatives.” He stood silent for a moment, then continued. “I really wish they would just go back where they came from.” Shocked and curious, I asked him why. “They’re just too nice. They make the rest of us seem even MORE redneck than we already are!”
Every now and then we come across quiet kids who rarely speak. Some are shy and don’t want to talk; some just don’t have much to say. When one girl began riding here, Cowboy thought he’d NEVER get her to talk. She rode for several weeks without speaking, and Cowboy got a bit impatient, so one day tried a new approach. Merciless teasing went on and on throughout her riding lesson. She would smile, but wouldn’t say anything. As she prepared to leave that day, Cowboy shouted across the barn, “See ya later, Brat-a-cus!” She stopped, turned back to look at him, and yelled, “Bye Old-a-cus!” Smiling from ear to ear, she turned on her heel and departed. I’m not sure if Cowboy was more stunned by the comment or the sound of her voice, but he hasn’t had any trouble conversing with her since!
At the end of one particularly giggly lesson, Cowboy was bidding farewell to a posse of girls. He teased them by saying “I think from now on I’ll just call you my boys. Can I call you my boys?” One of them shrugged her shoulders and responded, “Can we call you grandpa?”
They say laughter is the best medicine. If that’s true, then one thing is certain…our daily dose is high enough to keep us healthy for a very long time!
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