Jordan's Crossing: Trail Riding Lessons

For several years, the B5 Gang has enjoyed two lovely weeks of camping and trail riding in Brown County State Park. We go one week every spring and one week every fall. It’s tradition…and last week was THE spring week.

Our bi-annual packing experience has been honed over the years. Since I merely SIT on a horse (I’m no Cowgirl, as any of the other four members of the BG Gang can – and WILL - tell you), Cowboy and the girls don’t really prefer my “help” with horses, tack, or anything remotely resembling equine comforts. They realize that IF they depended on ME me for this task, we wouldn’t get very far down the trail. I DO, however, have an important job. I plan meals, shop for food, and pack the HUMAN comforts for the week. I think they appreciate it…or they WOULD…if ever they tried to go without me. But I digress…

Upon arrival at the campground, the well-oiled B5 wheels were set in motion, and we soon congratulated ourselves on the quickest and most flawless camp set-up in recent history. We were ready to map our first course for the week. Girl 1 & Girl 3 started tacking up horses, Girl 2 & Cowboy pulled out the map and a highlighter, and I packed snacks and drinks to-go-style. Soon we were mounted and stepping out into the wonderful wilderness of Brown County State Park.

Since I no longer have a horse of my very own and was forced to “borrow” a horse I’d never ridden before (I’m not bitter…no, not me…but that’s a story for another day), I was a teentsy bit apprehensive as we made our way up and down trails. I may or may not have been white-knuckling it every time Harley and I encountered obstacles…I tried to explain to Harley that I’m a SITTER, not a JUMPER. Noting my apprehension, Cowboy quickly started advising me. His little lessons, as usual, eased my apprehension, and it wasn’t long before I finally was able to sit back, relax, let Harley do his job, and just soak up the surrounding beauty.

Cowboy has this innate internal compass. I swear that man can be in pitch-black darkness, turned around several times, hung upside down by a rope, and STILL accurately point to North. In contrast, my innate internal compass is limited to “remember to hang a Larry at the loopdy-loop tree.” Since Cowboy long ago gave up ever trying to teach ME how to find True North (thank the Heavens above), I listened as he quizzed the girls on what they remembered from past lessons.

Much to his dismay, with the exception of Girl 3 (who isn’t half-bad), they pretty much inherited their mother’s lack of an innate internal compass.

As we headed back toward camp, Cowboy was naming trees. Then he was listening for bird calls. It really is ridiculous what this man knows. You would think that after 23 years of marriage, I might start learning at least a LITTLE BIT of the stuff he holds in that brain of his, but alas…no. I just am not gifted with the sense of direction...or sun placement…or trees…or birds…or training horses…or providing medical care for horses…or HORSES IN GENERAL for that matter…no…I can’t teach any of that. They pretty much let me tag along on trail rides because I’ve been nice enough to ensure they have towels and shampoo…and s’mores…and snacks for the trail. It kind of bummed me out when I came to the realization that I can’t really teach them ANYTHING about camping or trail riding. I mean, seriously…I’M THE TEACHER! I’m the teacher of school subjects, anyway…In all honesty, Cowboy is the teacher of life. I’m a band-aid-sticker-onner. Cowboy is the hugger that soothes the wound of the deeper hurt. I’m the food cooker. Cowboy shows them how to feed their souls. In a way I’m really happy that he is all of that for them. It’s really really cool to watch a dad teach his children, and it’s really really cool to see them interact with him. But DANG IT…why’s he have to make me look so bad? I obsessed over this for the duration of the ride. When we stopped for a rest, it became evident that I would just have to figure out a way to show them how useful Mom can be for this trail riding stuff. I mean, honestly…I can’t let them think they can start going without me!

The next day of trail riding was much the same as the first…blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…I was starting to get a little jealous. “There must be SOMETHING I can teach them out here in the wilderness,” I thought. And then it hit me…I’VE GOT IT!! I can teach them a very important lesson…probably a girl’s most important lesson of all…a lesson that Cowboy would NEVER think to teach, because he has never had to learn it himself. And here it is…are you ready…?

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POISON IVY