Accentuate the Positive

Remember that old song?  Once that chorus gets into my brain, it nags me for hours on end…

“Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, don’t mess with Mister In-Between.”

Cowboy and I determined years ago to use that as our mantra. After going through a few tough knocks, being treated unfairly, and ultimately paying the price (literally) for someone else’s misdeeds, we found ourselves in a tough financial spot, and we were down and depressed. We carried that burden for several years, and we were not happy people. It wasn’t until we made a concerted effort to embrace a spirit of POSITIVE that we overcame that feeling of defeat. 

We chose to eliminate our negative “this is so unfair” attitude and embrace a more positive “life isn’t always fair” perspective. It was a rocky road, but experience is a great teacher. 

When we are bound by an attitude that everything must be “fair,” we find ourselves concentrating on everything that is NOT fair. In this state of mind, it is really simple to focus entirely on negatives.  But once we come to realize that NOTHING in life is fair, it’s easier to ignore the negative.  Releasing the negative gives us room to focus on the positive.

We are closely acquainted with a family who has a teenage son whose life has always been challenging. There is nothing physical about his appearance that tells you otherwise, but his brain processes thoughts and ideas at a slower pace than most people. When given a task to do, it takes a few extra beats between his ears hearing the directions, his brain registering what was said, and his movements processing the task. His parents and loved ones have learned to adapt to this by creating routines and patterns for daily living. It’s a joint effort that has worked for their family very well. More importantly than how they have adapted, however, is the attitude they have instilled in him. Rather than focusing on the “unfairness” of it all, they have chosen to focus on the positives that surround him…his strengths, not his weaknesses. Their positive outlook eliminates any focus on negatives.

Have you spent time with a person who constantly focuses on negatives? It’s incredibly draining. They are never satisfied; they are never happy; they can’t find joy in anything. Activities or events that they look forward to participating in are a let-down because they are so busy focusing on each and every negative aspect that they can’t enjoy the activity itself.  Cowboy and I have been around people like this, but nothing is more heart-wrenching than watching a child live this type of negative life.

Children need a serious dose of positive outlook while they’re young. Trust me, it is much easier to grow up to become a productive and positive adult if you’re taught early-on how to be a productive and positive kid.  Keep an ear open to what your children are saying.  If they’re being too negative, help them find the positive.  How do you do this?  Pay attention…this is the best part of the song:

“Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum, bring gloom down to the minimum, have faith or pandemonium’s liable to walk upon the scene!”