A Lesson of Love

I know a man -- a dear, precious, Godly man -- who recently lost his wife of 46 years to breast cancer. She was the love of his life, and everyone who knows him knows this simple fact definitively. The legacy of love they left on this earth is a priceless gift to their children, grandchildren, and all who have had the privilege of knowing them personally.

Brian and I shared a common faith with this beloved couple that transcended most earthly relationships. Together we shared countless spiritual experiences over many years as we traveled to stay in each others’ homes, each visit teeming with fond memories. To say these two people were “special” to us would be a gross understatement. We regarded this man and his wife as a father and mother in Israel.

I distinctly recall the day they phoned to inform us of the troubling news of doctors finding her breast cancer. They each spoke on the same line via separate phones, one listening as the other took a moment to tell us their view of the situation. They were both very hopeful and optimistic, and Brian and I were prayerful. I remember the phone call when her treatments were finished. They shared their anticipation of a celebratory dinner with family that night. Brian and I were jubilant! Then came another call…this one all too soon…the cancer was back. “No sadness. She will be with the Lord soon. We are prepared and will enjoy the days that are left.” Our conversation ended with words I will never forget. This dear precious man, with joy in his heart, said “I’m happier for her than I am sad for myself.” Brian and I were tearful. Visitation…Funeral…Loss...but this man showed incredible strength and grace through it all, and he made it his mission to comfort those who thought they were coming to comfort him.  In his eyes, that day was to be a celebration!  He was celebrating all they had been blessed with, and all she was now experiencing without him.

A few weeks ago this man traveled to visit us, staying in our home for three days and two nights. It was his first overnight journey away from home since his wife’s passing, and a part of him was apprehensive about this particular “first.” They had stayed in our home several times together, and it would not be the same for him to come without her. We escorted him to “their room” and gave him a few moments alone. He joined us later at our kitchen table, and with a twinkle in his eye he began to share every detail of their best days together…when they met; when they married; children; grandchildren; as many milestones of a lifetime of 46 years that could fit into those few short hours of evening. His stories continued the next day, and again the following morning, mostly focused on her good and patient nature, her kindness, her love, her service in the name of her Savior. We laughed with him. We cried with him. We prayed with him. And we watched, helpless, as he bowed his head and openly and unabashedly wept in his grief for his bride -- the joy of his heart; the love of his life.

While preparing to leave that last morning of his visit, this man, who Brian and I now share an even deeper bond with and love for, looked at us across the table and said, “She always said I was the good one. I never understood that. She was certainly the good one in our marriage. She stood head and shoulders above all the rest.” When I told him goodbye later, he looked up to the sky with a peaceful smile. He said “I think your home is the best place for me to experience this particular first. I feel her spirit here. She would have enjoyed these days.”

As I ponder this visit, and the lessons I learned from it…as I think of this couple and their marriage, I wonder…why is the world so full of separation and divorce? Why is there domestic abuse? Why are couples unhappy with their mates? Why? God has given us the perfect example of marriage – the example of Christ, the Husband, and His bride, the Church. Every marriage could be like our friends’ if husband and wife would jointly follow the perfect example we’ve been given. Brian and I are continually prayerful that our marriage emulates that example and can be a shining beacon for other young couples, just as our friends’ marriage was for us. We’re unceasingly prayerful that our lovely daughters see the true beauty of a Godly marriage and desire it, and that they themselves prayerfully seek mates who will treasure them as the jewels they are.

Our dear friends embraced Christ’s example whole-heartedly. His love for his bride was a living picture of Christ. Her adoration of him was shown in every action, every deed, every smile, and every kiss. She loved him with every ounce of love her heart could hold. Her last words before she left this earth were directly to him: “I love you,” she whispered. That was enough for him. That was all he needed to hear.